


Alone Again

by youllneverwalkalone8



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Gen, Steven Gerrard/Xabi Alonso if you squint, you might want some tissues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-11
Updated: 2013-07-11
Packaged: 2017-12-18 10:08:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/878580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youllneverwalkalone8/pseuds/youllneverwalkalone8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Stevie takes his first bus ride from a match without Carra, and he gets support from a friend who he thought was long gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone Again

**Author's Note:**

> In one of his last interviews Carra was asked about how Stevie would cope without him and his answer was that he was worried about who Stevie would sit next to on the bus.

Stevie sat on the bus silently, staring out of the window sadly. It wasn’t that they had played badly; they had done the exact opposite actually. They had thrashed Aston Villa 4-1 despite it being their first away game. He just couldn’t be happy though, every play in their half had reminded him of what he missed the most: Carragher. Carra had been his rock his whole entire career, the bad cop to his good cop, the best friend he had needed. When Carra retired Stevie had no idea what to do. He didn’t think it could possibly be that bad, he still had the rest of the team. But the rest of the team had routines, and he and Carra had had routines. They had always sat together on the bus, always stretched together, always been there for each other. And now Stevie was alone for the first time since he had joined Liverpool.

He sighed as he looked out the window, a number popping into his head: 112, it had been 112 days since he had last played with Jamie. He missed him so much it hurt. It reminded him of when Xabi left, except that it was worse. There was always hope that Xabi would maybe, just _maybe_ come back one day, Carra had hung up his jersey for good though. Stevie had tried to convince Carra to come back, he had _begged_ him. But the one thing he hadn’t done was cry. He was the goddamn captain he had to stay strong. He had to move on; Agger was the new vice-captain. He was the best pick for the job, but he wasn’t enough for Stevie. Agger was fierce, young and talented but he wasn’t Carra. He wasn’t as loud as Carra, the pitch had seemed deafeningly quiet without his constant yelling.

He swallowed more forcefully than normal, trying to fight back the emptiness he was feeling. His eyes were still focused on the world outside the bus, trying to avoid looking at the empty seat. In some ways he was glad nobody had sat with him, he needed time. But he also needed comfort, the type of comfort a best friend could give. The hand to steady him and guide him through the hell around him, the hand that could pick him back up, slap him on the back and tell him that he would never walk alone. Of course he heard that from the fans all the time, but it had been better from Carra. Maybe it was just the satisfaction of hearing a man who used to be an Evertonian saying it that made it so sweet, but that didn’t matter.

Everyone left Stevie. That was something he realised as he watched a raindrop slowly trickle down the window. Just like the raindrop that clung to the window until it reached the end, people had clung to Stevie, only to leave him as empty as before. First it had been Xabi: the Basque who had celebrated with him that night in Istanbul, the man that proved miracles really _did_ exist before promptly breaking his heart. Then it was the bright-eyed, freckled boy from Madrid. El Niño; that was all he had been when he joined Liverpool: a shy kid. But Stevie had seen him become so much more, become a top striker. And then, just like Xabi, he left. But it had been worse with Nando, he had left for Chelsea. And now it was Carra, leaving for the scariest thing: retirement. Not for a club promising more money and more trophies, but for a life where the only time he kicked a ball around would be to stop his son from breaking a window when he was too hyper.

And now Stevie was left feeling more alone than ever. The rock that had been there when Xabi and Nando had left was gone. He had never been so alone on Liverpool before. Why couldn’t those rumours about Xabi coming back have been true? That would have made life so much easier. Instead he had to continue watching him on Real and thinking that maybe if he squinted just enough Xabi would be wearing red again.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out. It was a text.

 

_I watched the match today. You didn’t look like yourself, you looked sadder I guess. That bus ride can’t have helped, alone for the first time, I’m sorry, I really am. I know how hard it is to suddenly be alone. I booked a flight as soon as I noticed how down you seemed, I’ll be in Liverpool by 6._

_-Xabi_

And for the first time since the season had begun, Stevie smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Liverpool haven't played Aston Villa yet, but they play on August 24th and the last time Carra and Stevie played together was the Derby which would have been 112 days before (yes I figured that out.)


End file.
